YOUR PARTNER IS NOT A MIND READER

I started my orgasmic life when I was around 8 years old (maybe before but I can’t remember) Grinding on a chair was my move. I tried touching myself with fingers but didn’t really know where to touch and what to do and didn’t feel much. So I kept on grinding. 

Then I fell in love with my highschool boyfriend. Once we started being sexually active I stopped masturbating and I gave him my orgasmic power. 

I became very disempowered with my own orgasm and pleasure. I used to believe that if a guy loves me enough, he should know how and where to touch me to make me come. I actually thought that, if he didn’t know it meant he didn’t care or he was really lame in bed. Now I can sympathize with them, I wasn’t aware of what to do with my own fingers in my panties so how could they know? Het men can not really use the good ol’ technique from one partner to another. (Let’s be honest and acknowledge that it was easier for me to make my partners come, and that good ol’ technique of mine worked every time. Except for 2 partners but that’s another story) 

I was fortunate enough to feel safe in that first relationship to tell him I was not orgasming. We tried different things and my first orgasm with him arrived during penetration with me on top of him …. Yes you got it: grinding on him! 

Then 12 years later, we divorced and I started my slut life.

I am not very talkative during sex, I don’t give feedback as in “more on the right, now on the left, faster, stronger, harder” unless I want it slow, then YES I would ask them to slow the fuck down. I am not very talkative but I am a breather and moaner. I make sounds when it is good and I am silent when I don’t feel much. That’s how I guided my sexual partners so far. 

And then I got myself a bunny, a rabbit, the one in sex in the city. The ultimate vibrator with non rechargeable batteries (15 years ago!) And bam! Now I could experiment what I like and how I like it. Do I need to mention that I got addicted to my bunny? Like several times a day EVERYDAY!!!! I do not regret it at all.

But then after a while I got numb on my clit. I let myself freak out a little bit. Then I decided to stop using vibrators and using my fingers again. Until I was able to orgasm as strongly with only hands. It took some time and dedication and it worked.

Now I do not give my sexual power away to my partner. I show and tell him what works for me, I force myself to ask for what I want in the moment (gosh why is it so hard?) and I can experience amazing orgasms with my boo who feels so happy to learn how to give me immense pleasure. And so far I experienced: only clit stimulation orgasms, cervical orgasms, blend, an out of body experience and I am so close to orgasm from nipples stimulation (I’ll keep you posted)

Let me know in the comments what your orgasmic life is and was. Let me also know if you haven’t reached climax and would like to know how to get closer to it.

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