My heart shattered into pieces again. No one to blame, no good or bad, no angel or evil. Just a romantic addicted I guess.
The sweet pain of loosing something, someone. Is there any lost though? When everyone stays the same but goes their own way. My body doesn’t miss any part, neither my brain. The feeling of something, someone missing is too real.
I’ll overcome it like I did for all the previous ones. It doesn’t get easier or faster. I don’t master break ups, I wish I do, I’ll be over it in 2h. It doesn’t seem to work this way. The length of the relationship doesnt really matter neither in term of amount of pain. I presume the intensity is what causes the hurt at the end.
And I’ll do it all over again. With you, with him, with the next one. Maybe a bit smarter maybe not. I do not wish to hold myself back from loving someone. A relationship, as short as it may be, deserves to be fully experienced, fully appreciated, fully consumed, fully emerged. And knowing from the start that no future is possible doesn’t make it easier.
When love invites itself, whether you want it or not, you can try to resist, it’ll come anyway. For a month, for 6 months or a year. It’s all the same. The heart beats strong, fierce, immensely.
And then, it doesn’t stop beating, it’s quieter, like a whisper, like saying “be gentle with me, I’m picking up the pieces, putting them back together, in a different way, because I learned something new.”
I’ll overcome this. I know myself. Until then, be gentle, be silly, be sad, be creative, be lazy, be happy, be fierce, be afraid… Just don’t forget to be, ever.